25 April 2008

Friends

There are all kinds of friends , the all weather kind , the funtime friend , the here today gone tomorrow variety , the thoughtful empathising kind , the judemental advising type the braindrain kind and so the list goes on . Perhaps I should clarify that I am using the term 'Friend' in a rather general sense here more to mean a good acquaintance . Its easier to use one word than two and there rests my case .

Now the question arises as to which kind is the best . One naturally leans towards the all weather kind but lets not forget that the other kinds have their own uses too .

Fun in all forms is enjoyable and lightens our minds and hearts and who doesnt want that , given the hectic pace of life most of choose to lead . This sort of friend is there when you have fun but come the least sign of turmoil or misfortune , is prone to disappear without a trace , leaving you to grapple with your problems in the comfort of solitude .

The here today gone tomorrow ones , I have encountered in the last few years . Usually they descend on you positively armed with every ammunition in case you want to fend off their advances or the friendship is struck up with quick impulsiveness from one side or both . Sometimes the friendship grows by leaps and bounds and soon both parties get totally comfortable with each other . In other cases their is an intermittent spurt of meeting ups , dining and coffees together and total quietitude on the other hand . However , when circumstances change on either side these friends drift apart and slowly and surely disappear from each others horizons .

The thoughtful , empathising souls usually turn into all weather friends and stay on in ones life as loving , helpful energies who one can turn to and use as a sounding board . What would we do if there werent any of these in our lives who would listen to us without judging and not offer us unsolicited advice . Of course one will do the same for them when the need arises . They are not devoid of fun either and one spends many a laughter laden moment with them .

The judgemental advicing variety is the type no one wants to know but cant help knowing . They may act out of their own moral convictions and offer advice or load you with advice out of their own rich experience . Some of them do it out of a need to feel helpful and some just want to be pests . On a positive note one can gather grains of sense out of what one hears (if any) and let the rest just go by unheeded .

The last one on my list is the nonstop talker . This type just wants a listener and anyone will do .They will open their mouth and cant seem to get it shut for the amount of things they have to say never ends .The topics change with lightening speed and vary and spill into each other with such ease that one finds it hard to cope with listening and grasping let alone add a few words of ones own . This kind leaves ones drained and wondering what one had done to have such torture meted out to ones ears and brain . They could be well meaning people but with an intense need to chatter constantly . The only way to escape this and eamployed personally by me is to shut off ones brain and nod every now and then . This needs great practise or else one gets a glazed look in ones eyes and then the secret is out that the brain is being shut off to prevent a drain .

Here ends my own little outpouring .
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